Fear. We all have them and some of them are “black and white”. I fear bats, clowns, and wooden nutcrackers (you know-the ones that come out at Christmas, they FREAK me out-LOL!). …But I also have much deeper routed fears. They are:
- Fear of abandonment.
- Fear of getting hurt.
- Fear of rejection.
- Fear of someone taking away something or someone.
I question my decision making process and quite frankly so do others. I sometimes hear: “Why would you do X if X happened?”, “Why do you continue to do X?”
When making business decisions I take the bull by horns so speak, get things done, and get stuff ‘a movin’ & a shakin’ (this is how I talk sometimes-lol). Yes, I have to admit that I have been successful in some business endeavors…personally..I have not. My little head is filled with all sorts of if’s, and’s, and buts, (LIKE big buts, and I don’t mean the booty kind!). I make myself tired just “treading the water”.
I just discovered a great blog called “The Positivity Blog“. The title of blog post I came across was appropriately named “5 life-changing keys to overcoming your fears“. You have to read this post! What stood out to me was the following sentence: ‘To change yourself and overcoming fear you have to be prepared and willing to redefine yourself.”
Redefine myself. Hmmm. Where do I begin? I need a HUGE u-haul truck (maybe an 18-wheeler) to redefine me….but it HAS TO BE DONE. Many of you might of heard of the “12 Step Program” and it usually is associated with Alcoholic Anonymous. I admit right now that: I have been 7 years sober and only made it through steps 1-3 and reading and I. REPEAT. READING Step 4. I just read it- that’s all. Step 4 : Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. Ladies and gentlemen I just had a “Ah-ha” moment. I never did step 4 therefore I never did steps 5-12.
I know I have a long road ahead of me and I know I HAVE to do these things:
- Find a sponsor that will guide me through the 12 Steps.
- Call my therapist (who I cut off a couple of weeks ago-blog post later on that) and be CANDID- completely. No b’sing her either.
- Get back to church.
Do you have fear of changes? If so please share and if something has helped you overcome your fear I would love to hear it.
- Day 116: The Addict and Fear of Loss (adamsjourneyintolife.wordpress.com)
- Expose Yourself (fixafool.com)