It has been an extremely long time since I posted on my blog. Way too long. SO many things have changed but for the better but initially it wasn’t. I am now divorced…and I have discovered that after being divorced for almost 18 months that the majority of my depression was in direct the effect of living with a Psychopath. I always knew that my x-husband had a personality disorder but after experiencing even more trauma post-divorce I now know the extreme abuse was from him and what I actually experienced.
You see, I never used to be so extremely depressed, full of anxiety, and full of fear. I just started reading the book: Psychopath Free by Peace. I have to admit I am not a reader by nature but last night I read 96 pages and it described my life to a “T”. Seriously, I felt I was reading my very own words. You see I isolated…for years. Hid in the darkness (both physically and emotionally) thinking I was the one that had the problem..but Holy S**t, I did not.
“When dealing with liars & manipulators, we often find ourselves playing “detective”. This is your intuition telling you that something is deeply wrong with the individual you’re investigating. For some reason, their actions never seem to match up with their words. You find them constantly making excuses and blaming others, even though their stories never actually add up. You become lost in confusing conversations that somehow result in you being labeled jealous, sensitive, and paranoid. But when all is said and done, you will look back on every single instance where they called you “crazy” and realize that they were lying to your face. Every excuse was covering up yet another con, infidelity, or even a completely pointless lie (the ones they do for fun). Psychopaths are skilled at covert abuse, leading you on a scavenger hunt that makes you doubt everything about your once easy-going nature.”- from the Psychopath Free Facebook Page.
You see I met my x-husband on an e-dating site and my ID name was “SimpleGirlAlways”. Very shortly after marriage he would make fun of the name and mock me saying that I was so filled with drama, that I deceived him. The key word here is projection. He was the one injecting the drama, abuse, and honestly terror.