Even though I am an author I don’t read. Period. I just don’t do it. I have all the intentions of reading and have a host full of new books collecting dust. In June, as a matter of fact, June 6th (my youngest son’s birthday) I purchased a book called “Let it Go” by T.D.Jakes. T.D. Jakes is a New York Times bestselling author of Reposition Yourself, Making Great Decisions” (and no, I haven’t read it).
I clearly remember the night of June 6th. Hysterically crying, over-tired, and emotionally spent. I have had some serious issues with a family member for quite some time and was in a struggle with emotions of anger, forgiveness, betrayal, and what I thought God wanted me to do. I popped onto Amazon.com and honestly don’t know what I searched. It was probably one of those great marketing methods of “Related Products” that show up based on your previous history purchases (like right Kelly…all the other self-help books that you have NEVER read-lol). I ordered the book, it arrived, and it has been inside the drawer of my coffee table until today, when I needed a coaster for my coffee it was shoved in the back under a bunch of papers. Do you think that sometimes some things happen at a certain time for a reason? I do.
[ As a side note- I am just starting this blog and you will see me mention God a lot. There is no intention on my part to force my beliefs on you however if it does move you towards God that is fine too. 🙂 ]
I guess you can say this week I had a “spiritual awakening”. I thought I had one before and if you have ever attended Alcoholics Anonymous you will hear that phrase. Realizing today how very selfish I have been in the past I can now honestly admit that I have and had a hard time accepting that I have done wrong. I have done some things that will affect others for a very long time. I was meant to find that book today…I just know it. Part of the summary of the book says: “The spiritual truth he explores in Let it Go concerns forgiveness and why it is important for those on the receiving end of wrongful behavior as well as those who commit acts of wrongdoing. This book explores forgiveness as an idea and at the same time offers specific and clear actions for readers who seek to apply the idea in their daily lives. Offenses are a part of life, he says. But conflicts can be resolved and relationships do have a future, if we learn how to forgive.”
Some powerful stuff, huh? I have A LOT to learn. I feel like a newborn again..a newborn in re-discovering that my actions in many ways have been wrong. I need to re-learn so many things and I know I will stumble along the way but I can honestly say I will move forward being humble and with the focus of others first. Two things I need to do is to start getting back to reading the Bible and also to start reading this book. I will certainly put my insomnia to good use!